Ask any parent, and they’ll tell you that the first few months with a brand new baby are harrowing. Exhausting, all consuming, and largely sleepless…except for that one acquaintance of yours who likes to tell you that their baby slept through the night from the time they brought them home from the hospital. My babies were typical babies–up multiple times a night, most nights, until their first birthdays (or thereabouts).
The date was October 7, 2016. My oldest child was 6, my middle child was 3, and my youngest was just 8 weeks old. I was bone-tired. Absolutely, positively, 100% worn out. That night, before bed, here’s what I wrote in my Gradual Journal:
Super tired (all 3 kids were up last night). Took Jack to gymnastics. Jill took a great nap this a.m., then only catnaps. I’m hoping for some decent sleep tonight.
And another entry, four months later, from February 12, 2017:
Jack was up a lot, and ultimately got up for the day at 5:45am. Joe was up b/c he wet the bed. Jill was up between 3-4am. I am TIRED.
At that moment in my life, consistent, adequate sleep felt like a distant memory. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d woken up feeling relatively rested. And it was hard to believe that I could ever be in that place again. Thanks to my Gradual Journal, I have distinct, recorded memories of the all consuming exhaustion that made up my life.
BUT THEN….
On July 14, 2017 I wrote:
Jill slept 10 hours straight (7:30-5:30)! First time in months she’s slept so well.
A Gradual Journal helps me to recognize growth.
In whatever moment I’m currently in, life sometimes just feels hard. But as I continue to write, and look back on past entries, I’m able to recognize that, glory hallelujah, my kids DO know how to sleep now. Any exhaustion I feel at present is unrelated to babies waking up at night. :)
Writing in a Gradual Journal provides me with daily opportunities to look back at previous entries from today’s calendar date, and to reflect on the growth that’s occurred in my life. As my children change, as my circumstances change, as just plain old life changes, growth comes along with it. And my Gradual Journal is here to remind me of that.
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